On Friday afternoon my unreliable mobile phone, SuzieSamsung, decided to 'pull a sickie'. The screen started flashing rapidly then went completely black, as she did the equivalent of "Aaaah, I feel so ill!" and pretended to pass out. I was taken in at first and solicitously recharged her battery, but she remained unresponsive. A good night's sleep did nothing to restore her either, so on Saturday I ventured into the East, {Hull, to be precise} seeking counsel from the Wise Men of 3.
My beloved
optimistically dropped me off outside St Stephen's shopping centre, saying he'd
drive round the block and pick me up when I'd finished. Feeling rather
like Captain Oates, I
reminded him "I am just going inside, but may be some time".
Picture © Copyright PaulGlazzard and licensed for reuse under this Creative Commons Licence
He told me
afterwards that he'd made five circuits of the city in increasingly wide
circles, since he had no way to contact me to find out how much longer I was
going to be.
It was time
well spent. The wonderful young men in the 3-Store couldn't have been
more helpful. They discovered that, although the light was off, there was
definitely someone at home - Suzie was hiding behind the sofa with the curtains
drawn, while her boss {me} tried to
peer in at the window. They advised me that I could either get rid of her
now by giving her 6 months' wages in lieu of notice, or send her to a private
clinic to be treated. I decided that sacking her was the best option.
Now, of
course, I had to find a replacement. No problem. The Wise Men
introduced me to some suitably qualified candidates, then repossessed all my
files from Suzie and passed them on to her successor. This involved quite
a bit of fiddly techy stuff, which I watched in awe. We are not worthy.
Anyway, I
now have Miss Sonia Sony. She is taller and slimmer than Suzie, and seems
rather like James Bond's Miss Moneypenny. She has advised me on energy
saving measures, and has even managed to find some of the photos that Suzie
hid. Miss Sonia has arranged them where I can see them, in date order,
and assures me that I could even view them on my television screen, should I
wish. Never mind about gold, frankincense and myrrh, I have google,
facebook and mail. Not to mention a pretty carrier bag.
