3/6/2014
13:39:21
"The
old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be..." That song was
another favourite remark of mygrandmother's, but I doubt she knew this version ... or maybe she did! However,
the first part of the song is a very appropriate description of me and my
household goods over the last couple of months. {Although I didn't fall down a well; it was only down the stairs.}
It all started
in a caravan in Wales {as much often
does}. The bedroom was rather cramped and, as I made the bed on the
first morning, I felt my back twinge. It wasn't that bad though, and it
was a sunny day, so we set off for Beddgelert as planned.
Perhaps it was unwise to attempt the walk to 'Gelert's grave' but it was only a few hundred yards and I've wanted to see it for ages - and it was quite pretty. What wasn't at all pretty was me, when my back suddenly went into spasm and I couldn't move. At all.
I had to
just stand there trying to look casual for about 15 minutes while puzzled
tourists sauntered past, before shuffling half a mile back to the car.
It then took
a further 15 minutes to actually lower myself into it, making repeated attempts
whilst hanging on to the door and giggling hysterically, under the amused gaze
of customers in the adjacent pub garden. {My beloved couldn't get out to help me, as he'd had to pull up next to
the wall in order to give me enough space to open the door.} If this
is getting older, I don't care for it.
Picture © Copyright Jeff Buck and licensed for reuse under this CreativeCommons Licence
But I'm not
the only one who ain't what she used to be; a couple of weeks later my aged
vacuum cleaner gave a little grunt and died. I suppose I had been
expecting rather a lot from her; she only cost me £20 at the boot fair four
years ago and I was asking her to clear up all the mess after my new bathroom
was fitted. A week after that my ten year old printer decided to follow
suit - no lights on, no-one at home. {I
bought a new printer immediately, but still don't have a vacuum cleaner.}
You remember
that loud noise you heard one morning about a month ago? That was me,
falling downstairs. To be more accurate, it was me screaming obscenities
after I slipped down the bottom two stairs and my toes crumpled underneath
me. I spent the next hour in agony with my left foot in a bowl of iced
water, and the next week hobbling around with a walking stick. At least
my back didn't go again. Unfortunately, one of my fillings fell out, and
I've just had to spend £174 {no, not a
typo!} at the dentist. I don't think I'll be buying a new vacuum
cleaner any time soon.
