Thursday 27 March 2014

Spring cleaning


It all started when I decided to clean the bathroom.  I usually favour the QuentinCrisp Theory of Housekeeping, which holds that, if you leave it alone, after four years it never looks any worse.  I reckon it's actually about six months.  However, even I admit that it wouldn't be a good idea to apply this method to a bathroom, so I generally tend to wipe the surfaces when I see them in daylight.  This time, though, I decided to do it properly.  I rolled up my trouser legs and stood in the bath, spraying Cillit Bang over the tiles and nearly choking myself in the process.  It might have been sensible to open a window, except my bathroom doesn't have one, and I can't reach the one on the landing.  Then I rinsed it off with the shower.  Well, why not?

I'll tell you why not.  The tiles {and presumably the grout} are at least 30 years old, and the plastic seal round the bath is not as secure as it was.  I didn't notice a problem myself, until a few weeks later when a visitor pointed out the brown marks on the living room ceiling.  We kept an eye on them and, since they didn't start looking any worse, we left them alone for six months.

Last week, my beloved emerged, like a bear from hibernation, and announced he was going to paint over them.  That seemed to work, so he decided to do the whole ceiling and a couple of walls.  I agreed this was a good idea, especially if he could repair the nasty crack at the top of the wall at the same time.
 As we were moving the sofa, I remembered how much I enjoy rearranging furniture.  When I was teaching I did it all the time, sometimes even during lessons.  The poor kids never knew what they were going to come in to, and the caretaker despaired of me.  I'd assumed that there was only one possible arrangement in my living room, but no!  The only problem was the television.  It's small and standing on the floor, as I don't like it dominating the room.  Unfortunately, it's too small and low down to see properly, especially now that I need glasses to even recognise full-sized people in the street.  I use the remote control to get programme information, then have to walk across the room to read it.  But with the sofa now in a different place, I'd be closer to the TV... and after we'd carried the chest of drawers down from the spare bedroom and put the TV on top, it was the right height.  AND it hid the tangle of wires behind it.  Bonus!

The best bit of the new arrangement, though, is what I grandly refer to as my study, which is actually the space under the stairs.  By turning my desk and chair round ninety degrees I have more space, a whole load of untidy tut is hidden behind the sofa, and I no longer bung up the Ch'i of the entire ground floor {or trip up anyone coming out of the kitchen}.
 You will notice that I have a large number of pictures.  That was the only problem with moving everything round, as I've had to rearrange them as well.  Items that were on top of the bookcase don't look right there any more, and I don't think it's a good place for candles.  I have now run out of hooks, so there are quite a few pictures still stacked up against various walls.  I expect I'll get used to them.

The really best bit of the whole process, though, is that I now have a view out of the window when I look up from writing, rather than having to stare blankly at the wall.  Distracting?  Nah, inspirational!


Monday 10 March 2014

East Coast Story


'Didn't we have a luverly time, the day we drove through Yorkshire!  A beautiful day, we had lunch on the way....  Except we didn't. Not for want of trying though.
We fancied fish and chips, in the car, overlooking the sea. The place on Scarborough seafront didn't do take-away so, as it was still early, we decided to carry on up the A171 to a cafe we know with a lovely view, on the edge of the moors. Closed. Never mind, still plenty of time to go on to Ruswarp, where there's a cafe with a pretty garden next to the river - but that was closed too.  We still fancied fish and chips really, so on to Sleights, where, I was assured, there's a 'fish and chip emporium'.  Sure enough, there is.  Also closed.

We were really hungry by now, so hurried back down to Pickering, where there are at least two fish and chip shops.  The first one we tried was even open... but not until 3.30  and it was still only 2 o'clock.  Back round the town then, and there they were... cheerful signs by the roadside, pointing the way.... to another shop that was closed.

Oh well, the best fish and chips is from Wetwang anyway {yes, honestly, it is a real place} which was on the way home.  And that shop is always open.  Except today.   OK, I know it was Sunday, but there was a time when fish and chips was all you could get on a Sunday.  Was yesterday some kind of fish-fryers' festival?  Had they all gone off on their annual outing?  Or is there suddenly a world shortage of batter?  It was in mystified and melancholy mood that we drove home for soup and mince.

There's no plaice for us; of cod no trace for us.
Salt and vinegar, golden chips will not pass our lips.

There's no take-away.  No fish and chips today.
In cafe yes, but not in the street; no good things to eat.

Lights off, doors are closed.  It's not as we supposed;
signs say 'open' but clearly lie. No-one here will fry.

Just minced meat for us; no batter beat for us.
In the vat lies the tepid oil; still and thick, fails to boil.
No chips! No fish! Nowhere!